far from done

I stare at the screen,
I focus on your name.
I’m not sure if
I can keep playing this game.

I tell myself it’s over,
I’m pushing myself forward.
I’d most definitely text you,
if I weren’t a total coward.

I distract myself
with yet another lie.
Crawling into bed,
I clutch my heart and cry.

I go back to our texts
& fret over everything we said.
All that hate just short of
wishing each other dead.

I cringe at our words
& my heart fills with shame.
I mumble an apology,
as I softly mouth your name.

Love unconventional,
fate most unkind.
And yet nothing I do,
takes you off my mind.

If only to text me,
you’d take a pause.
I’d do more
than show you just cause.

This is a follow-up I wrote to my last one. The last week of the year has been quiet and cold. I am hoping to bring in some warmth over the weekend. What are your plans? Are you re-connecting with old friends and partners? Forgiving all that went wrong in 2016? Or are we still holding our grudges and carrying our disagreements into 2017?


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